Portrait in Linen

Writing
So the CNN publication opportunity was barely a blip on my CV radar. I might be able to eke out a credit on technicality, but it’s hardly substantial. Still, something about the coffee essay grabbed their attention, or they wouldn’t have contacted me in the first place. That’s something to feel good about.

(Note: The coffee article was not excerpted on the aired version nor the printed version of the story, but a fragment of a line can be found on the “Interactive” tab under “‘Ailina” (the six-letter version of the name).)

Haven’t gotten a ping on the parenting article submission, but that may be on account I sent it to the editor’s outdated email address. Tried again today, so hopefully, I’ll hear something soon. If not, I’ve got a few more local publications that accept unsolicited queries. Will go to Plan B in a couple weeks if nothing pans out.

What to work on in the meantime? I promised myself I’d write a parenting article on the virtues of camping (natural disasters aside), but the inspiration just isn’t there. I’m sure I could throw something together, but I’m almost certain it wouldn’t have the heart it should have.

I think the lack of catharsis over the past two weeks has taken its toll, and now I’ve got to fight my way back to maintenance mode. I’m feeling a thousand different things at once–mostly panic and overwhelm. So much to do, so much to catch up on, so far behind. I don’t even know where to begin.

I can’t concentrate at all, much less focus enough to produce something tight and distilled. I tried a writing exercise last night, and what came out was fragmented, weak, and sentimental. Guess if that’s the way I’m feeling, that’s what I’ll produce.

But I have no time to be fragmented, weak, and sentimental. I’m under the gun, in more ways than one.

—

Karate Training

I haven’t been to class in two weeks. The emergency exit, camping trip, and 4th of July weekend took me out of town for the duration. Terrible timing, with belt testing only weeks away. After such a pause in training, returning to class is like starting over from the beginning. Again. I feel so bad about that.

I berate myself for my lack of consistency, but the practical side of me stands up for the fact I AM a stay-at-home mom raising five kids, and for two weeks out of every month, the raising is done by me alone. They are the priority; I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can’t apologize for my responsibilities, but I do feel responsible for my martial arts attendance and performance. I must be able to offer some commitment, and some consistency in that, if not for the sake of my training, then at least for the sake of my instructors and out of consideration for the other students who must endure review on account of me.

I can’t help the necessary absences, but I can do my best to compensate. I’ve decided I’m going to stay for all the second classes from now until test time. I already know I won’t be able to endure the physical demands of two back-to-back hours of training three times a week, but I’ll do everything short of falling out onto the floor. I’ll just have to tell the instructors–I’ll do what I can until I start to feel like I’m about to hurl my lunch. If it comes to that, I’ll hit the bench and watch.

That’s 4.5 weeks to prepare. Is that enough time for me to pull it together? It will have to be.

—

Karate Research

I suspect I’ll be shelving the pursuit of Dad’s history until after the D.C. trip in September. Just no way around it.
But now is the perfect time to step up my studies of Shotokan. Master Mikami will be the special instructor at the dōjō training camp in August, and I definitely want to have his history and lineage solidified in my head well before I meet him for the first time. He will be, after all, the first Shotokan master I will meet in person, and I definitely want to have a relatively complete frame of reference for his introduction.

This means I need to finish Funakoshi’s Karate-Dō. I’ve also purchased three books in a series of titles written by Master Nakayama (Funakoshi’s successor). It’s crucial I get through these well before test time, too, since the content comprises everything I need to know for the test, and then some.

—

‘Ōlelo Hawai’i

Hawaiian language studies will continue without a hitch. Noe (study partner) and I have transitioned from the Ka Lei Ha’aheo to the Nā Kai ‘Ewalu text.  Now that we have an established foundation, we can move forward into more complex points of grammar.  Conversation practice is consistent and progressive.  Lots of audio resources to help with pronunciation and vocal pacing.  Maika’i kō māua ha’awina.  Imua!
—

Vacation Planning

So this will be the focus of any spare time I may have over the next two months.  D.C. trip is right around the corner.  Date of Departure is September 16th.  Nine days of travel, multiple states, multiple destinations.

I believe the basic itinerary is just about finalized.  Still needs a few more tweaks, but it’s established.

Still have to book hotels, print maps, purchase tickets and/or passes.  I’ll have to set some deadlines soon to keep me on target, or time will leak by, and our best-laid plans will fall to pieces before we ever have a chance to set them into motion.

—

Moi

I’d have to say self-image is pretty healthy lately.  Fatigue has plagued me, but it’s no wonder with braving the wilderness and all.

The sunshine did me well, after the initial sunburn and insect bites dissipated.  Only a couple other times in my life I’ve been this dark–three straight weeks at the beach in Hawai’i, and an entire summer camped out on Galveston shore.  I do love Vitamin D.

And as silly and juvenile as it may be, I indulged in a little vice I’ve coveted for a while now–colored contact lenses.  It’s not that I’m dissatisfied with my natural black eye color–”two muskadines in the buttermilk,” as Mama Lola used to say of me when I was a baby.  I’m perfectly happy with my eyes, though at times, they do make me appear tragic and forlorn.

It’s just that lighter colors give my face a completely different look.  “Honey” looks warm and summery, brings out the deep auburn highlights I paid for (again) and rounds out the gold tones in my hair and skin.  “Hazel” goes great with the emerald greens I like to wear.  Not so sure about “gray,” but I theorize it may make the pinks and lavenders a little more friendly on me.

I think what sealed the deal, though, was the girls when they said, “Hmm…those contacts make you look younger.”  That was enough to quash any misgivings I may have had about accessorizing with something so (literally) superficial.

And my head’s on straight.  That’s all I have to say about that.

—

Homeschooling

…is in full informal mode.  Of course we continue our exploration of American History in preparation for the trip to the Capitol.  The next two weeks, however, will be devoted to refreshing on Entomology.  Next field trip is to the Audubon Insectarium in New Orleans.  The outing will be so much more fulfilling if the kids’ heads are filled with bugs and all their fascinating features.

Priss has just a few more weeks of summer voice class.  The others chose swimming lessons, but in order to save for the D.C. trip, we decided to just buy another pool to replace the last one that finally gave out last summer.  Funny that a pool purchase would be more economical than three swimming tuitions, but that’s the way it worked out.  Besides, with proper maintenance, the home pool will last exponentially longer than a six-week session, and the whole family can swim every day throughout the entire summer if we so choose.

They’ve already chosen their fall activities, too.

• Priss - voice
• Bunny - gymnastics
• Moe - acting
• Squeak - piano

Not sure what Rocky wants to do, but I’m sure he’ll tell me when he returns from Fla.

It’s great for them to be involved in extracurriculars, but that does put a cramp on travel.  I think Miner and I both have come to agree travel is the very best experience and education we can offer the kids.  There’s nothing keeping us from providing that, so…Why not?

But I’m too tired to begin an in-depth analysis of all that tonight.  More emails to reply to, have to catch up on the night’s participation at the writing group.  And I still haven’t eaten anything for supper.

I really really really really should be sleeping right now.  Karate in the morning, and I’m going to be worthless.

Spent ALL DAY deep-cleaning the house.  “Dogs are barkin’”; biceps are about as useful as wet noodles.  Was exhausted by 9:00 PM, so why am I still up?

Because the parenting article is FINISHED!!!  Yay!!!  It’s as polished as it’s going to get, and it’s ready for submission.  Sent the query within the hour, so now, we wait.

Hoping for an acceptance on the heels of what I think is a national publication acceptance (or some form thereof).  Got a ping on the coffee essay I wrote last week over at iReport.  Appears it’s destined for 15 seconds (if that) of fame some time next week.  Will have to wake up with the roosters if I want to catch it on American Morning.  No details as of yet.

I’d say that’s a valid excuse for not hitting the sack at a decent, responsible time like a decent, responsible person.  Burning the midnight oil to accomplish something worthwhile.  Dozens of other things I should also be doing, but with writing, gotta strike while the iron’s hot.

—

What’s next for me?

I’m not sure, but I think I should probably make it a goal to write at The Advertiser at least once a week.  Nonfiction (other than journaling) has never really been my forte, but there are always jobs for freelancers.

Besides, community blogging is relatively pressure-free.  There’s no query-submission-consideration-acceptance/rejection process.  No one spends money on ink, so there’s no worry about whether or not an article will do well or land flat.  You write to participate and contribute, which is a great community service.  An involved community is a happy community.  Right?  Write.
—

It’s the oddest thing, and I haven’t quite figured it out, but it seems like everyone in this house is happier when I’m writing.  Seriously.  Even though writing makes me grumpy in the mornings, distracted when the sun goes down, and a frayed-and-frazzled wreck when a piece is out for consideration, everybody seems to feel so much more…”rooted” (???) when I’m producing.

Usually, I’m pretty good about picking apart the Why of a scenario.  But on this one, I’m utterly stumped.

So much for “Guilt-Free.”  I wouldn’t take L’Auberge buffet for a “best-push-up-bra and strappy heels” kinda place, to hear about it, but Josie confirmed–it is.  I don’t own one skirt above the knee, and certainly no bust-plunging tops.  And even if I did, I wouldn’t wear that to lunch.  What does it matter anyway?  Why is everything so complicated?

And why am I even dealing with this?

—

Karate class was not easy tonight.  I think my stamina is improving a tiny bit, but there is still so much to be desired.  Had another light-headed episode, but thankfully, it didn’t set in until the very end of class.  This time, I did have to lie down on the bench in the dressing room to recover.

I felt so bad for Sensei Sweet (female instructor who has welcomed me with open arms from the very beginning).  I think I scared her.  She encouraged me to step outside to get some fresh air, but again, shame was paralyzing, so even though I knew it would probably be good for me, I refused and just lay there being miserable, waiting for the icky heat-blech to pass.

And it did.  Drank some lukewarm water I had in my bag, took a deep breath, and took a seat to observe the second class.

“The Second Class”–which is for Intermediate/Advanced karateka–is a dilemma in and of itself.  Some time ago, Senpai Kūnane (previously referred to as “Sensei Kūnane,” but he instructed me to call him “Senpai” (senior student) in class, and just “Kūnane” outside of the dōjō) encouraged me to begin to train through the second class, too.

It was an honor to be invited to participate.  I’m under the impression attending the second class is the thing to do if one would like optimum preparation for the next round of belt testings.  And each class holds something new.  Always something else to learn; I certainly wouldn’t want to miss out on that.  But, I knew without even thinking about it that I wasn’t ready to take part in a second hour of training, and I’m still not.

So, I’ve compromised.  The second class is the perfect opportunity for me to listen, write things down, hear the corrections, watch the way the higher ranking students move, get a solid visual of what to do and what not to do.  It really helps.

When we were preparing for Merrie Monarch year before last and I couldn’t get to Houston or Dallas as often as everyone else, I had to compensate.  The rest of the haumāna got twice as much practice, twice as much correction, had the opportunity to watch and study the senior dancers’ movements, and were able to work on emulating them as closely as possible.

Since I didn’t have the same opportunity, I watched Merrie Monarch DVDs from previous years.  I studied the winning hālaus, watched how the dancers’ feet moved across the floor, studied how they held their shoulders, the angle of their hands, the expressions on their faces.  I studied every single detail and practiced in the mirror, trying to get my body to move exactly like theirs.

And it helped.  Noe (one of the hālau leaders) told me, “You’ve improved by leaps and bounds.”  That was so rewarding, and it proved there are alternate means of honing skill for those of us who can’t practice or train along with everyone else all the time.

Maybe I’ll recognize it when the time has come that I can handle participating in “The Second Class.”  I guess the first sign will be, at the end of an especially challenging class, I don’t feel like I’m about to hurl my cookies all over the place or do a Scarlett O’Hara swoon in the middle of the floor.
—

Thinking about Dad so much lately.  I would be afraid of diving into another episode, but I just can’t cry these days.  That bothers me.

Therapist said I ne